Flash Fiction: Seeing Things

kitchen

kitchen (Photo credit: palindrome6996)

Aha, a new story to share today! Are you ready for a flash?

 

Seeing Things

Jeremy tried to tell her again what he had seen.

“It was hairy, large and ugly.” He paused to let the words sink in. He knew he wasn’t a Brad Pitt for looks but hell he had a lot in his favor compared to that beast in the kitchen.

“Whatever,” Renee said and sat on the couch. She turned on the TV, and Jeremy tried to ignore the corny music of a woman’s shampoo commercial.

“I’m telling you, it’s in there,” he said and pointed to the kitchen door to the left. Surely he hadn’t been seeing things again. He hadn’t smoked weed in over 20 years.

“Look Dad,” Renee said, sounding tired, “I’ll go in there if that makes you feel better. You’re full of it, but I’ll do it. I’m thirsty anyways. Do we still have cans of Diet Coke in the fridge?”

Jeremy began to breathe at a regular pace again. His heart valves that had seen modification 2 years ago were thankful. They hadn’t appreciated the morning stress either.

“Thank-you,” he said, and he reached out for Renee’s hand.

“Okay, okay,” she said, grasping his hand back. Impatience coated her voice. “I’ll check it out if that makes you feel better.”

Renee walked over to the door and then paused with her hand on the white oak. “Hairy creature,” she whispered, and laughed. “Whatever.”

As she pushed the swinging door, Jeremy watched her disappear behind it. He knew he hadn’t been seeing things. He anticipated her reaction, her disbelief.

Suddenly, he heard the words that he thought would be coming. The sounds were muffled a little on the other side of the door, but he still heard them.

“Surprise! Happy Birthday!”

Oh good, Jeremy thought. She hadn’t suspected a thing. He decided to give her a few minutes with her boyfriend Mike in the kitchen before lighting the candles on the cake.

Part of him hoped the candles would singe Mike’s scraggly beard.

©2013 Christy Birmingham

 

This is christyb, sending you into the kitchen for a can of Diet Coke.

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43 thoughts on “Flash Fiction: Seeing Things

  1. Billybuc

    Flash fiction….short stories….poetry….all done for the love of writing and a desire to improve…and as such I will always respect those who do them. 🙂 Have a great weekend Christy! I think we have a wet one coming in the northwest.

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  2. Aquileana

    … “Surely he hadn’t been seeing things again. He hadn’t smoked weed in over 20 years”…

    Cool & smart flash fiction; Christy. Kudos…

    You have well captured the irny tone of the daily routine; the atmosphere of an average family… The tv, the corny shampoo commercials, the “Hairy creature,” The Diet Coke can…

    Monotonous irrelevancies which obviously contrast with that sharp, unpredictable ending…

    Sending love & Diet Coke Toast for you, Aquileana 😉

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    1. Christy Birmingham Post author

      Awww, I’m glad you enjoyed this story and caught the surprise ending! Here’s to Diet Coke and great GalPals!!! xoxo LOVE the can of Diet Coke here – makes me laugh — thanks for the Twitter share too, so nice xx

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      1. Cat Forsley

        Of course Christy ……..
        Flash Fiction is so very interesting to me 🙂
        and it’s something i have go WOW when i read …..
        i am almost always 🙂 in music lyric world 🙂
        so ………. “a breath of fresh air ” who said that ? YOU DID 🙂 XO XO XO love love love xo C

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        1. Cat Forsley

          it sure is BEAUTY ………
          and who knows How we found one another ….?
          but i’s an incredible feeling to now that there are no accidents in Life – PEOPLE DO MEET – even virtually – 🙂 FOR A REASON 🙂
          maybe we will never KNOW –
          but the JOURNEY together is the very best part xo xo xo xo xo xo xo xo xo xo xo
          i just found this 🙂 and i toast YOU right now 🙂
          xxxx
          so proud to call you my friend xo

          XOXOXOXOOXOXOXOXOXOXO 🙂

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  3. Julie Catherine

    LOL! Loved the twist of the dad being scared of something and sending daughter in – and daughter obviously okay with it; that’s usually the other way around. The last line made me burst out laughing! Loved it, my friend! 🙂 xoxox

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  4. pictimilitude

    Haha, fun story. LOL. I was expecting something like on that show Grim that comes on Friday nights. Haha.
    Have a wonderful evening, my friend! Oh and I DID look at your HP article – so awesome! I haven’t commented, yet, but everything you said is such sound advice. 🙂

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  5. Tessa

    Great writing, it got my attention from the start. As soon as you mention “big and hairy”, I automatically think of spiders. I’m thinking I would NOT have gone in the kitchen without some protection. Great story with a very happy surprise ending.

    *You mentioned Diet Coke in your story, possibly send this little writing to the Beverage Company…I’m sure they would enjoy the extra publicity.

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